Being a Life Coach has been super rewarding... especially lately. I've gotten the opportunity to speak at a couple of conferences and meet tons of people. Shoot... last month was CRAZY with two major speaking engagements and individual #getcholife sessions with friends and family. Life coaching has broadened my platform so much! Don't get me wrong I LOVE being a Life Coach, but I have to remember that EVEN the coach needs a coach! Yes! I admit I'm NOT the super human unicorn, melanin goddess you thought I was (close though). Who knew?!?! One of the main reasons I became a Life Coach was because I believe it's an extension of discipleship.
As a Lifestyle Influencer, I take in tons of information on personal development and self improvement so that I can help others live their best lives. Ya'll I am a bookworm, research- aholic and life long learner on #teamtypingfast. With all this information, it's only right to do a temperature check. Here's what I reminded myself of today:
Number 1: Listen to your body!
Girlllllll, you know how we can get when we haven't eaten. Just mean for no reason! This isn't fair for others to others who have to deal with our hangry episodes, but yet and still we subject others to our bad attitudes. Then we have people wondering what's wrong with us?!? Not only that, but if our stomach is growling... that means WE'RE HUNGRY!!! I noticed my stomach growling today before my designated morning snack (yes, morning snack, don't judge me) half of me was like, "it's not time!" ,but then I though "that's stupid"'. Am I "too busy" to nourish my body? Is that loving? Am I too busy to take one for the team so that my co workers remain in a safe working environment? I think NOT! I try to go to the gym about 6 times a week (I know, I'm crazy), but sometimes when I don't feel well or hear my body telling me I need rest, I have to listen. If I don't I can quickly find myself in a situation where my body shuts down and CAN'T function. And what good will that do? Our God, the loving Father that He is, intelligently created our bodies to give our brains signs for our different biological needs. We need to listen!
Number 2: Accept that your life path may look different
- Yoooo, how many times have we said to ourselves "I can't believe I'm X years old and I still haven't X" ? Or "so and so is X ( *insert married, has kids, a great job etc) , but I'm only X). As I was journaling during my prayer time (everyone should journal by the way), I noticed that my prayers had become, a pitiful list of woe is me. I should have (*insert aspiration here) by now, why haven't I mastered (*insert super hard, time consuming thing here) or my personal favorite...all my friends are (*insert typical late 20's "milestone"). Ya'll we've got to stop this comparison game. Everyone has their own path, my path my look different from yours... and yours different from hers. That's okay, that's what makes us unique. Do you and stay in YOUR line... because the moment we start looking in someone else's ... they pass us.
Number 3: Give yourself grace
- This is a hard one for me, because most times when I think of grace, I think about extending it to others, but the most loving thing you can do is to extend grace to yourself. I can say this because I know the importance of showing myself grace. I'm realize that I'm not going to get it right every single time... I'm going to slip up and say the wrong thing...or maybe say nothing when I should have. I get that and for the times I get it wrong, because sometimes it's soooooo wrong- I have to allow grace to cover it. Lately I've been super intentional about asking for grace in moments with my friends, asking them for the space to possibly get the wording wrong or for not filtering my emotions through the Holy Spirit. They've been great and I believe it has truly lead to more authentic relationships.
Number 4: Respond in truth and love
- Along the same lines of giving and receiving grace, it's important to tell the truth ALWAYS. A half truth is a lie FYI. It's so important in developing your authenticity to speak the truth, however... even more important is to speak that truth in LOVE. The truth can be hard to swallow sometimes, but the truth wrapped in love definitely helps. Now lets get this straight... this DOES NOT MEAN SUGARCOAT! Telling the truth is about the facts... wrapping those facts in love refers to shaping and handling your words in a way that's catered to an individual's specific receptive style. It's important to understand people you are in relationship with because that gives you a better idea of how to approach them with love. Say what you mean, but don't say it mean!
Number 5: Advocate for yourself
- And finally- I'm learning that I have to advocate for myself. Nobody knows your interworkings better than you (and God duh). This means speaking out and up for yourself, even when it's hard, because if you don't who will? Plus, you're the one why has to live with the outcomes if you don't express your opinions. You can't expect others to read your mind. Also, if you don't know what YOU need, how can someone else know? Explore that, practice self reflection, meditation and prayer. If this is you (like it is me so times) take the time to check in with yourself to see what you need... then act on it! Make a plan, execute it. YOU MATTER! #remixjaz